Can you briefly tell us about your NICU experience?
Our daughter Kiya was born at 32 weeks, but my water broke at 30 weeks. At the hospital they managed to stop my contractions and put me in the antepartum unit on strict bed rest where she was able to stay in my belly for another 10 days before coming into this world. Those 10 days were the hardest part of our journey as all I could do was lay around and wonder what would happen or when she would be born? I was not able to get up and walk around or do much of anything (except pray). The doctors prepared us for what to expect (which is so scary but necessary so that we could understand the importance of her stay in the NICU) The anticipation and not knowing was incredibly difficult to deal with. The only thing we had any control over was our faith in the Lord. We literally put her life in his hands and prayed constantly. She ended up being born at exactly 32 weeks. The shots they gave to help develop her lungs ended up playing a huge role in her journey and eventually helped her be released from the NICU much sooner than expected. I was absolutely amazed at how such a tiny 3-pound baby could fight so hard and be such a little warrior. Her birth date was January 13th but her due date was March 8th. We were prepared to go back and forth from the NICU until March, but she pulled through much faster than expected and surprised all the doctors and nurses.
What was the hardest part about your NICU stay? How did you cope?
By far the hardest part of having a baby in the NICU started with not being able to be the first to
hold her after her birth. Then to see her in that incubator with everything hooked up to her and
tubes down her nose to be able to feed her. When the end of each day came, and we had to
leave the hospital at 11pm, I would just cry knowing that I couldn’t bring my baby home with me. Breastfeeding her was so important to me but all I could do was go home and pump each night to bring milk that had to be fed through the tube.
Did your child’s NICU stay affect your mental health?
It was an exhausting cycle of getting up early every morning to spend as much time as possible
each day, pumping all day long and then going home just to get sleep and do it all over again.
My body was healing and going through so many changes along with being tired all the time.
That made it mentally and emotionally draining. I know she made faster progress than normal
but it still seemed to take so long at the time. I remember crying every day and wondering why it
had to be like this? But we had to be strong for her and I was fortunate that my husband and I
were a strong team. We would pick each other up when needed and did our best to always
keep our heads up and our faith strong.
How would you describe the period immediately after your child was discharged from the NICU?
The day she came home was the happiest day for us. It literally felt like a miracle. But it was
also a little scary because she was still so tiny. We knew we would have to take care of her on
our own and help her to keep growing and thriving. It was mentally/emotionally difficult to know
we couldn’t compare her to other babies her age and that she would develop at her own rate.
One day at a time we just got more and more confident in our ability to care for her, and she got
stronger and stronger. It was so good to be home!
Do you think that your NICU experience had an effect on the way that you raised (or are raising) your child and subsequent children?
Yes, after the experience with my first pregnancy, they gave me a P17 shot weekly the duration
of my next pregnancy to help me carry to term (or as close as I could). Our second child made it
to week 37 (which is the last week they were able to give the shot). As soon as they stopped my
water broke early again. But we felt so much more prepared for an early birth (and we made it
so much further the second time). He was strong enough and far enough along to come home
from the hospital right away after two days. I was so thankful for my ability to hold him
immediately at birth and to nurse him from day one. Everything we learned from having a difficult first experience helped us to be better parents and helped us to always lean on the Lord.
What advice would you give to parents who currently have a child in the NICU?
As soon as your baby is able and strong enough to come out of the incubator, do as much skin
to skin time as possible. Spend time standing near the isolette, holding their hand and talking to
them. They can almost soak up your strength through the incubator. One of the things that
made a huge difference for our little girl was recording us singing to her and talking to her so
that they could play that in her incubator when we had to go home to sleep. Most of all have
faith that your baby will be OK and have faith that God will see you through the whole process.
You are stronger than you know and your baby needs all the strength you have. You can only
control what you are able and the rest you must trust the Lord, the doctors and the nurses.
Is there anything else that you want to add?
I have the utmost respect for NICU doctors and nurses. They are amazing people who believe
in and take great care of your baby when you are not able to do so yourself. Thank you to every
single NICU worker out there!
