I am not going to lie, 2022 has been one hell of a year. It has been filled with “record highs and record lows.” Overall, Kolin has thrived this year but it was not without heartache, pain, and sacrifice. It was not without spending hours and hours on the highway for all his appointments. I have had to disappoint my patients due to having to cancel their appointments at the last minute so that I can care for my son. I have found myself sitting beside Kolin hospital’s bed more than I ever thought possible. He has had procedures and MRIs with sedation and EEGs. He has had medication changes and lots of new equipment. Being a widow is hard. Being a mother is hard. Being a single mother is harder. But being a single working widowed mother of a child with complex medical needs? I do not have the words to express how exhausting and lonely and heartbreaking it is…to never get a break. To never have a chance to recharge and rest without having a million things running through my mind.
I woke up this morning, tired and physically sore and I vowed that I would never end another year feeling like this. I am not sure what 2023 will look like but I cannot continue at this speed…… For 2023, I vow to become gentler with myself. I vow to travel more, to love harder and to take better care of myself. I vow to become the best version of myself.
May 2023 be gentle to you!
